If there was just one thing I could change about my life, I would get rid of all my "stuff." You know, "stuff" ~ as in: destructive habits, emotional baggage, flawed ideas, weird idiosyncrasies ~ and everything else that comes with the territory of being a sinful human being living in a broken world.
The list is way too long to share, but...for example...why do I struggle to maintain self-control when I am angry, stressed, tired, or hungry? Why do I say stupid things that hurt people I love? Why do I, a 41-years-old woman, still allow certain people to manipulate or control me? Why do I want to control?... Why do I always feel like a wallflower in a crowd of people I do not know? Even the simple things sometimes bug me: like gross (and painful) habits, like picking at my cuticals or peeling the dry skin on the bottom of my feet. But I can't be the only one on the planet with a gross habit...and I know I am not the only one with "stuff". Everybody has their stuff.
I was having a candid discussion with a couple of women about week ago. As we talked about our particular struggles, it occurred to me that our challenges and sinful habits really are "common to man". Oh, they may be packaged differently...or vary in degree ~ but when it comes down to it, we humans are more alike than we think. As I was pondering this, I couldn't help thinking what some people would think if they knew we were all professing Christian women. (Audible gasp!) Why is it that people tend to think Christians "don't struggle" or "aren't supposed to struggle"...we are just supposed to be good? What is it about humanity that we want to feed into the lie that people (or at least certain people) are basically good, anyway? Do we think God was kidding when He said, "There are none that are righteous, no, not one"?
And yet, this attitude not only permeates the world, but the church, as well. As a result, we feel a need, all-too-often, to hide behind our masks. We join pretenders and hypocrites worldwide with our own "Christian" version of "I'm Alright, You're Alright". You know what I mean: it goes something like this: "Jesus makes me happy all the time, and nothing ever goes wrong in my life." After all, what would people think of us if we admitted otherwise? I think the charade gets tiring. 'Cause if you just try to bury your "stuff" instead of facing it, it has a tendency to insistently re-emerge. It's like trying to pin down the corners of tent in the middle of a ferocious windstorm...you get one corner to stay down, but then up blows another corner...so you keep running from corner to corner, trying again to get each one to hold. Some of us never manage, and always feel like failures; others get all four sides pinned down and start feeling pretty good about ourselves...until, oops! There goes that darn wind again, and there goes "stuff", popping up, just when we thought we had finally managed to convince others (and even ourselves) that we have this "good person" thing licked.
We humans are so short-sighted. So often, we forget who we are, and even more importantly, whose we are. We are sinful people! (Romans 3:23). And if we are Christians, and we have trusted Christ to start a work in us, why in the world do we not trust Him to finish it? If we were capable of "having it all together", there would be no need for the cross... God KNOWS all about our "stuff". (Proverbs 15:3, "The eyes of the LORD are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good.") He knows everything about us, everything done in secret...and in our sinful state, He chooses to love us anyway ~ sincerely and deeply, with a love we cannot manage to muster or even fathom. He knows it is impossible for us to live a righteous life apart from His help, nor are we supposed to. (Proverbs 28:13, "He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.")
God does not expect us to be perfect. (Whew! What a relief!) But He does want us to be upfront about our "stuff", and He wants us to be changing and growing. In order to do so, we must first be honest with God and with ourselves. We must humbly seek after God and His word, and ask the Holy Spirit to work in our hearts. We must also be authentic people before our sisters & brothers in Christ. (James 5:16, "So admit your sins to each other, and pray for each other so that you will be healed. Prayers offered by those who have God's approval are effective.") It is not natural for us to do this: we want for people to like us, to think "good things" about us...we are not keen on sharing the ugly things about ourselves. But we can choose to live in obedience to the Lord, and trust Him to honor it. As difficult as it is for us to accept, it really doesn't matter if another person approves of us or not. If GOD approves of us, who is anyone else to judge?
Likewise, we can practice showing grace and encouragement to others in their struggles. I, for one, could go easier on others - and myself, at times - remembering that growth is a process and love is patient! It's so awesome to know and serve a God who is incredibly patient and forgiving towards us! Why would we want to offer others anything less?
Best of all? We have ultimate hope in the fact that one day, when we finally see Jesus, and look into His wonderful face, we will finally be made perfect. No more "stuff"...and no more struggles, no more sorrow, no more pain, no more brokenness. Just perfect love & perfect peace. That's the day that I am waiting for.
