Oh, my... what we learn from our children. My son spilled his milk on the table the other day. Accidents happen of course. And since he doesn't make a habit of spilling, I wouldn't have been particularly angry...if the reason he spilled it hadn't been the fact that he was stubbornly reaching for something I told him not to reach for.
I raised my voice, reprimanding him for spilling his milk, and angrily cleaned it up. I didn't say a wealth of words... but he knew I was unhappy. He laid his little head on the table and cried.
"You don't like me! You don't like me! You're mad at me for spilling my milk."
After reassuring him that I still loved him, I then had to calmly explain that the "spilling of the milk" was not the real offense, but the attitude of his heart that caused the spilling of the milk. I then told him I was sorry for yelling at him, and asked him to please forgive me. He said he would; I said some more reassuring words, and thought that would be sufficient.
A few minutes later he looked at me with a scowl on his face and said, "Well, I'm still mad at you. You hurt my feelings!" Then he went ON and ON about my many offenses, what I said to him, how I said it, accused me of things I didn't even say!!! Wow! Nothing like being held over the fire by a four-year-old. As I was sitting there thinking of what to say to him -- and then offered my sincerest apologies a second time, along with a lame attempt to explain the biblical command to "forgive", I couldn't help smirking inside... Right at that very moment, I realized my little boy was just like me! (And it wasn't pretty!)
How many times did I hold a grudge against my husband... a family member... a friend... maybe even a perfect stranger? How many times did I say "I forgive you", but not really mean it? How many times did I hold people "over the fire", making them pay for some offense when there was nothing they could do to escape my wrath??? I can tell you that being on the receiving end, I didn't like it very well! And I had to say, "Forgive me, Lord. Forgive me for so often failing to forgive. Make me quick to forgive, as You are quick to forgive. And how much sweeter does it make Your grace... that You forgive me, a sinner far less worthy in your sight than any person who offends me!" Amen.
